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The sh!t no one tells you : a guide to surviving your baby's first year / Dawn Dais.

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Berkeley, California : Seal Press : Distributed by Publishers Group West, c2013.

Motherhood -- Humor.

Infants -- Humor.

Child rearing -- Humor.

9781580054843 (pbk.)

1580054846 (pbk.)

247 pages : illustrations ; 21 cm

And You Thought Pregnancy Was Hard -- Please Censor Your Birth Story -- Raid the Hospital -- Breastfeeding Is Really F'n Hard -- They Will Let You Take a Baby Home! -- So Many Tears -- Your Newborn Is Not Cute -- It May Not Be Love at First Sight -- No One Is Loving This as Much as Their Facebook Posts Would Have You Believe -- You Just Pooped Out a Baby (Your Body Post-Baby) -- Your Life Is Officially Over -- Poop, Puke, and Pee -- Children's Books Are Ridiculous -- You Are a Horrible Mother Whether or Not You Vaccinate -- Having Pets Did Not Prepare You for This -- Who Needs a Health Plan When You Have the Internet? -- You'll Never Sleep Again -- Your House Is Way Too Small -- Babies Don't Like Bragging -- You Can't Afford This -- Teeth Are the Devil -- You'll Be Blamed in Therapy Someday -- You Can't Have It All -- A Dysfunctional Relationship -- Remember Your Memory? -- Your Body Is Ruined -- You'll Probably Want a Divorce -- It Does Not Go By "Soooo Fast."

A humorous guide for new mothers on caring for infants offers advice on the unpleasant aspects of parenting, including birthing without drugs, handling the volumes of waste babies create, and dealing with sleep deprivation.

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